Goodbye Nahnah: The End of the Breastfeeding Journey

This poem really speaks to me at the moment- especially the last two paragraphs. After almost two years of breastfeeding, December 2015, just before Squish's second birthday, was when we decided it was finally time to swap the nursing bras for Wonderbras again. Two years seems like a logical time for weaning and felt right to me- I was finally able to have a meaningful two way discussion with my son about the topic by this age. Two years also happens to be the time period recommended for breastfeeding by both the World Health Organisation and the timeframe recommended according to my religion- if that is not a sign that this is a good time I am not sure what is!

The breastfeeding journey was a tough one for me (read more about my journey here). I must admit, the last few months of breastfeeding were a bit easier, but after two sleep deprived years, I knew it was time. 

We had previous failed attempts at weaning after about twelve months. La Leche League's recommended method for weaning is 'do not offer and do not refuse'. Let's just say that was an epic failure and I am fairly sure I would be feeding through the high school gates if we stuck to that mode of weaning. Previous (less subtle) weaning methods tried also included putting foul tasting substances on my breasts, from bitter aloe to balsamic vinegar ( both of which Squish just responded to with a bit of a funny face but then proceeded to suck off the offending substance nonchalantly) and wearing polo-necked tops (which literally got ripped open).

So when I tried weaning again this December, I was ready for a tough fight, which to my surprise never came. We waited until the holiday season, when A was on leave. Night time is when Squish tended to drink the most so we anticipated some sleepless nights. On night one, I did something that I never did before. I packed an overnight bag and Noodle and I spent the night at my mom's house (which is close enough for me to return on case of emergency). While Noodle and I had a night of Monopoly, Squish was home with daddy. I do not know what happened in my absence (though I suspect Squish was lulled to sleep by Youtube). I am told there were a few tears but that he only woke once or twice during the night and went back to sleep quite easily. 

The next morning, I returned, with large plasters across my breasts (and a dot or two of fake blood for theatric effect). When Squish saw it, I expected a fight but instead he said sweetly, 'sorry mommy' and gave me a big hug. He kept asking to look at it, but instead of trying to drink, he came to give me hugs and say sorry each time.

For the next few days, he did not try drinking at all, though he did ask to look at my plasters every hour or two. For a few days, he replaced his 'nahnah' with (oddly), copious amounts of grapes. Even now that the plasters are off, he still asks to have a look at his old comfort objects at least once a day. 

Nap times and bed time was tough for the first week or two as breastfeeding had always been our method of choice for getting him to drift easily to sleep. Slowly, we developed a new routine, which included the old elements, bath time, a shower and a bedtime story, but now we switched off the lights and had one extra bedtime story in the dark- each day we now have made up stories about a character, Bubbles, who is the star of all our stories. When Squish is ready to sleep, he covers his entire face with the duvet and then is asleep in a minute or two. I then move him to his cot, where he sometimes sleeps right through the night- something that never happened back when I was breastfeeding. 

What nobody told me is how painful the weaning process would be for me! See, the recommended method is slow weaning. To some extent, this was a slow weaning process as we had already eliminated all daytime feeds except before nap time. However, till now, Squish still fed several times each night and we stopped the night feeds abruptly, which is apparently not ideal for mom. I did not expect the assault on my breasts. To say that weaning was a (physically) painful experience for me is an understatement. I quickly developed all the symptoms of mastitis- very painful, engorged breasts, a slight fever and excruciating lumps caused by plugged ducts, made worse by me plugging my breasts up with plasters. While the pain level was almost comparable to being in labour, by this time I was away in the bushes for a few days so cabbage leaves and Nurofen was as advanced as pain alleviation treatment was going to get! I was leaking giant puddles of milk everywhere and had to change my clothes several times a day. Charming, I know. It took a few weeks before the pain slowly subsided but eventually it did.

It turns out that the weaning process was actually quite easy for Squish (which is what counts most for me). He has adapted very well to our new routine and, apart from asking to look at my breasts or holding on to them sometimes when he is upset, he has moved on. I will miss that giddy look of elation as he took the first sip at each feed, the feeling of closeness and the way his eyes would almost roll back in his head in ecstasy, but seeing my little boy growing up into an independent little person is equally rewarding. Now we start a new chapter, one without breastfeeding but with a whole new independent world to be explored. 

How to Survive Cold Winter Nights While Breastfeeding

Last year, when winter approached, I wondered about how I would survive the cold with boobies exposed for half the night without getting frostbite on my nipples (TMI? Sorry!). Okay, we don't exactly live in Antarctica but Johannesburg winters do often mean temperatures plummeting into the negatives overnight.

 I did not think I would still be breastfeeding by now, but somehow, I have found myself going through yet another winter breastfeeding through the cold nights, with my son. Last year this meant no blankets as he was tiny and I was afraid of smothering him, the same applies this year as  he is determined that nobody should be allowed the luxury of blankets or duvets (if he falls asleep he wakes up as soon as I try to cove him with a blanket). I thought I would share my night time  survival tips.

First of all, dress appropriately. If you have ever breastfed, you will know that clothing can pose a challenge as you need to wear clothing that allow baby to access the milky bar when needed. This gets even more complicated when it comes to pyjamas. Obviously, the starting point is a good nursing bra. Then, get some nice, warm breastfeeding pyjamas. I get mine from a place called Sleepy Sleepwear, who have a few branches and some agents who sell it too. The ones I have are made of a warm velvety material and has a slit that allows it to open up at the bra-line so that you can feed with minimal skin exposure. 

The problem is that I have only ever managed to find one set in a size small, so when that one is in the washing, I need to make a plan B. I know there are tutorials online for making your own ones, so if you are the resourceful type you make your own. (This will not work for me as I am useless at sewing). There is also another local brand called Peek-a-Moo, who do similar long-sleeved tops, but for now they only seem to do these in thin t-shirt material, which are awesome for day wear or as pyjamas  for when there is a slight chill in the air but not for very cold weather.

 I find that low cut winter pyjamas or those with zips or buttons help, but I hate having the top of my chest cold and exposed. So I add a wooly snood to the mix. Sexy turn on? Definitely not. Warm, yes! I have also heard of mommies who have turned to adult zip-down fleece onesies as breastfeeding pj's.

The next important thing is to keep the room that you will be feeding baby in warm (heaters,insulation etc).

Lastly, consider co-sleeping, if only for winter. Not having to get out of bed means conserving precious body heat.

If anyone else has useful tips to share, I would love to hear them. 

The Booby Trap

They always tell you all the wonderful things about breastfeeding. You hear about how it is the best for your baby, how great it is for your immune system, how it will help you to bond with your baby. You hear how it will help you shed pregnancy weight, leaving you skinny with big boobies. While I have found all those things to be very true and love having had a chance to give my son such a great start in life I just wish someone had warned me that this would be so difficult. 

This article is not intended to discourage any mothers from breastfeeding, but rather just to prepare them for what is in store. Warning, the contents that follow are not for sensitive viewers.

THE PAIN

Oh, the pain. They forget to tell you that this will be an incredibly sore ride. The first few days are sheer agony. Have you ever had a pimple that became so sore that you just want to squeeze it to relieve pressure? Well imagine your boobs as two hard gigantic pimples, screaming to be squeezed. That is what engorged breasts feel like. Your nipples become rough, painful and blistery as baby figures out how to latch. Your poor nipples may even bleed at first, a lot. Then you get told that you need to let baby feed through this sore and scabby mess. Oh and you are prone to mastitis, which makes you sick and fevery on top of the pain (which you can only take Panado for, as baby will absorb and react to anything stronger). All fun and games. 

Fast forward a few months. The initial pain has subsided and your nipples, now coated in an invisible titanium coat of armor are now  tough as nails do not bleed anymore. Your baby will now be discovering the magical world around them and will be eager to explore. The tough part is over now, right? Wrong. For you, this means they will no longer just lie down sucking angelically. They will be twisting and turning every time they see or hear anything new, all with jaws clenched tightly, yanking your poor nipples in every direction. Your nipples will develop balloon-like stretchy abilities from this constant tugging. They will experiment with new positions and nursing while jumping up and down or upside down will become the norm. Once they are crawling and walking, the positions become even more creative. While this may be cute to some, inevitably these gymnastics also mean pain for mommy.

At some point, baby will decide that maybe the milk will come out faster if he squeezes mommies breasts really hard at every feed, or juices them by rolling them with his skull an naturally assumes that mommy will enjoy this show of affection.

Then they start teething and your nipples become a chew toy. Finally, they get sharp new blade-like teeth and every feed will be a game of Russian Roulette. If you scream in agony when bitten, baby will think this is hilarious and do it again and again and you will be right back to the sore, bleeding nipple stage. Apparently it is also fun to use nipples as a chew toy (at present Squish favours the suck-chew position, where he sucks while clenching down the entire time).

THE HUNGER

You have never experienced hunger until you have breastfed. Breastfeeding works up an insatiable appetite in the human female species. Despite being small and petite, I can out-eat my husband anytime these days and waking up for a midnight snack is no longer an extraordinary event. (I guess I should not complain as eating all the chocolate and dessert in sight and not picking up weight is awesome, but I fear that one of these days dear hubby may evict me from our house as a result of enormous grocery bills).

THE EXHAUSTION

Firstly, you have a little creature literally sucking away all your nutrients. If you do not have a perfectly balanced diet (which lets face it, few mothers have time for) you are likely to be tired out by the mere act of breastfeeding around the clock. Add to this chronic sleep deprivation and the fact that exclusively breastfed babies do not sleep through the night and you have a recipe for a tired, cranky, perpetual zombie.

THE ISOLATION

Breastfeeding takes up many, many hours. This may result in you not having time for your other children or husband, let alone your extended circle of family and friends. If you live in a society where nursing in public is still seen as tabboo, when out in public or even when you have guests over, you may find yourself chosing between offending people and  hiding away behind closed doors and missing out on life events. Not all babies take to bottles straight away or feed according to a set schedule. This means that, while your baby is exclusively breastfed, everything you do revolves around breastfeeding- how you dress (most clothing staples are off limits for lack of accessibility to the essential assets), where you go and how long you go for. There is no break ever- since you cannot just detach your breast from your body, you cannot just leave baby with a babysitter for a couple of hours.

THE HUMILIATION

Every breastfeeding mother experiences that awkward moment where she is out somewhere and lands up with a gigantic puddle of milk on her top. It is a rite of passage and it will be on the day she forgets to wear breast pads (which are scratchy, hot and annoying by the way... oh and they cost a small fortune). 

Then, when baby gets older and develops the co-ordination to whip your breast out in public for you or even ask for them by name, the real trouble begins.

IT IS HARD TO LET GO

I only planned to breastfeed for six months, but almost a year later, we are still going strong. I had two failed attempts at weaning, but just felt too sorry for my son, who just loves his boobies so. We tried the gentle methods recommended by La Leche League (do not offer or refuse, distraction, substitutions, shorter feeds) with no success and then even tried putting a series of bitter items on my breasts, all without success. I have read horror stories about sudden weaning so will not go that route but in all honesty, I am ready for this journey to end now and I hope that soon he is too.

Would I do it again? Yes, I probably would. We all know about the health benefits of breastfeeding and they are young for such a short time. The liquid gold is the ultimate mothering tool for comfort, to instantly soothe any cry or to effortlessly caress a baby to sleep. The benefits for baby both physically and emotionally are beyond measure and  there are ways to deal with all of the hurdles that come with breastfeeding and plenty of support out there, from breastfeeding support groups to lactation consultants. I just wish it was not so, so, so tough.

  

DISCLAIMER: IMAGES IN THIS PARTICULAR BLOG POST ARE NOT MY OWN. ALL CREDITS GO TO THE RELEVANT OWNERS OF THESE IMAGES.

 

We love NUK {Product Review}

We have always used NUK products for Noodle and Squish and in my experience their products epitomise quality and great design. Noodle was addicted to her pacifier (the NUK Rose Soother to be precise) as a baby. They were my preferred choice too due to their orthodontic design and the fact that they did not cover Noodle's entire tiny face like some other brands.

You can see below that Squish's NUK bottles and dummy have been well used. He never actually sucked the dummy (he used it as a chew toy/ teether) but loved it nevertheless. 

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The old tested bottle and soother

We were excited to hear that NUK has expanded their range to not only cater for smaller babies but also active toddlers and pre-schoolers. We recently acquired a set of six BPA free NUK Food Pots, which are the perfect size to store kiddy sized portions of food in the fridge or freezer while taking up very little space (that is when Squish is not using them as toys- he is drawn to their bright colours). The food pots also work very well for making ice lollies (see the recipe for some delicious yoghurt ice lollies here).

NUK Food Pots

I felt like I had won the jackpot when I was sent this delightful hamper of Nuk toddler products to review.

Noodle literally squealed with excitement when she spotted the super cute pink ballerina NUK Sports Cup. The first thing I look for in bottles and sippy cups is that they are BPA free and the second thing I check is that they do not leak when I put them in her school bag. So far this one has passed the test. The Sports Cup is lightweight but big enough to fit lots of liquids (450 ml) to keep thirsty pre-schoolers well hydrated. It also has a clever design that allows it to be washed in the dishwasher without even having to disassemble it.

Squish tested out the NUK Weaning Set, which contains a non-slip divided plate (for fussy toddlers who do not like their spinach touching their carrots), a non-slip bowl and a knife and spoon set. I especially like the cutlery as they are just the right shape and size for tiny fingers to grip but also strong enough so that it does not bend while they are eating like some others that we have. Now if only NUK could invent something to stop toddlers from throwing their food!
 

Top: NUK Weaning Set | Bottom left: Fruit afternoon snack in divider plate | Bottom Right: Squish has fruity oats in NUK bowl

The NUK Training Toothbrush Set contains two massaging brushes with rubber bristles to polish those brand new pearly whites and massage itchy gums. It also comes with a ring which serves as both a stand and a guard to prevent your little ones from sticking the brushes too far. 

NUK Training Toothbrush Set

The NUK Breast Milk Storage Bags are BPA free, very thick and have a double seal, so you can be assured that your precious breast milk will be safe in the freezer. They are pre-sterilised and also have measurements along the side so that you can see how much is being defrosted at any given time.  

NUK Breast Milk Bags

**** Jozi WAHM will be giving away an awesome Nuk prize in the next few days. Keep your eyes peeled for further details.****

The Jozi WAHM's Directory of Mall Baby Rooms

Have I mentioned that I love shopping?  However, shopping with little ones, especially babies can be daunting and there are four golden rules to follow:

1. Keep it brief.
2. Make sure your nappy bag is stocked with the necessary artillery;
3. If you have a pram, know where the lifts are (if not, know which stores have those prams with the baby seat attachments); and MOST IMPORTANTLY
4. Know where the baby rooms are.

It is crucial for mommies to know where to run for that emergency nappy change or feed when out shopping. When you have a screaming newborn, the last thing you want to have to do is search high and low for the nearest baby room. While this list does not cover all shopping centres in Jozi, we hope the below will help you know where to look for nappy change and feeding facilities at some of the malls.

My own dress choice is to wear more modest clothes generally, so baring my breasts was never an option for me personally. I used to nurse Squish just about anywhere as a newborn (when I could just position a receiver or shawl discretely and feed without anybody noticing) but I find this impossible with fidgety older babies and toddlers. 

I suspect there may be moms that are about to tell me that it is their right to nurse in public wherever they want and that you do not eat in a bathroom, so why should baby etcetera.  Yes, I respect and support your right to nurse in public and also refuse to feed my baby anywhere that is dirty or smelly and would rather go back to my car and feed in such instances. However, there are more options these days than just smelly toilets.

Even for mothers who are comfortable nursing in public, there may be times when your outfit just will not allow you to nurse without practically stripping or times where baby may be over-stimulated by the mall hustle and bustle and just needs a quiet place- so it is always handy to know where feeding facilities can be found. Here is my directory of mall baby rooms, which I hope to add to in future:

SANDTON CITY

There are beautiful, very modern and clean new baby rooms in the newer section of the mall close to Mr Price. However, if you are breastfeeding and seek privacy, these rooms have semi-transparent glass, so the older one at the food court (to the right of Ocean Basket) might be a cosier option.

CRESTA SHOPPING CENTRE

The bathrooms upstairs close to Mugg and Bean, Croc and Identity has a newly revamped baby room with nappy change facilities and separate feeding area. The rest do not have baby facilities (the ones near Game definitely have no baby facilities and at the one downstairs opposite Boardmans the cleaning lady pointed me to the solid counter top in the ladies room and instructed me to change nappies there).

CLEARWATER MALL

This mall has two baby rooms, both in the corridors that lead off from the centre food court. While they are nice, whether or not they are clean and smell free is luck of the draw. However,  only the one that forks off from the corridor close to Spur has a feeding room while the other does not.

THE MALL OF ROSEBANK

After the recent revamps, this mall boasts beautiful and very clean nappy change facilities. Take note though, that only the one upstairs next to Jet has a chair for feeding. The Zone, adjacent to the Rosebank Mall has a nappy change room with a seperate feeding room at the baby rooms opposite Sowearto, while the bathrooms closer to Spur have no baby facilities. Spur itself has one of those little plastic change stations in the ladies room. Oh and the Rosebank Mall has a couple of special mommy parking bays.

Baby room at the Mall of Rosebank

CAMPUS SQUARE

Okay, this is not exactly a major mall but I am there frequently enough for it to warrant a mention. When the centre was recently revamped, I was thrilled to see that they finally incorporated a baby room. To my disappointment, the baby room just has a hard counter-top for nappy feeds and a basin, with nowhere to sit for feeds. Cleaning staff have decided that they would also use the tiny space to store mops and brooms, so it is impossible to squeeze a pram in there. You are better off going to the baby room at Pick 'n Pay, which is far better kitted and even sometimes has baby good samples.

Baby room at Campus Square

EASTGATE SHOPPING CENTRE

Changing and feeding facilities are located at the Food Court near Nando's and near entrance six.

TRADE ROUTE MALL

A baby room with changing and feeding facilities can be found at the bathrooms close to Milky Lane and Toys and Hobbies.

CRADLESTONE MALL

I was only ever here once and do not remember where the baby rooms are (sorry!), but I do remember being impressed by clean and pleasant nappy changing and breastfeeding facilities. They are there somewhere and there are definitely more than one. They also have mommy parking bays.

BABY CHANGING PODS

I have seen baby pods like the one in the picture below at a few of our malls (pretty much illuminated floating plastic containers with compact facilities for feeding and changing nappies). I have spotted these at Fourways Mall, the Glen, Trade Route Mall and Westgate Shopping Centre and I am told that Greenstone and Broadacres have them too. However, they do seem to come and go. While they are okay for nappy changes, some tend to be smelly (I guess this would depend on how well the relevant shopping centre maintains them). It is an improvement though, over malls that only have a change station inside the ladies bathrooms, which pose a problem for any daddies who find themselves alone with baby.

Baby pods found at certain malls

When there is no feeding room in site and you have a hungry, screaming baby, my suggestion would be to go to a change room clothing store, they are usually very accommodating.

We would love your feedback on the malls that we have left out so that we can update our list.

Ten Things I only Discovered after Two Babies

You would have thought that, being an educated and involved mother, I would know everything there was to know about babies after having the first one. It turns out, that after Squish was born, I discovered smarter, simpler ways to do various things. 

Hopefully, some of these epiphanies can help other new mothers to do things the easy way.

Disposable food pouches

When Noodle was a baby, the only ready made baby food was the jar variety. The newer tube varieties (like the Pure Squish brand) taste much better and are far more convenient to transport around. You can even buy little screw on spoons that attach to the tube. (P.S. In case you were wondering, that is not where Squish got his nickname from, but that is a story for another day).

Envelope vests

I always thought the wide foldback necks were there so that it is easier to get the vests over soft little heads. It turns out that they are designed so that you can pull them downwards and off babies legs in the event of emergency nappy blowouts. Who knew?

 Using disposable nappies for clean ups

Speaking of emergency nappy blowouts, when you have a baby, you are likely to face clean up of all sorts of revolting bodily fluids. I have discovered that using a (clean) disposable nappy works well to clean up the bulk of the mess. I keep the annoying ones where the side tabs have fallen off handy for this purpose. Then for sanitising and deodorising, tea tree oil, bicarbonate of soda and vinegar work better than most commercial cleaners.

  

Facebook mommy groups

I am not sure if these were around when Noodle was born, but a lot of moms benefit from having experienced mommies on hand to give immediate advice on baby related dramas. These are typically closed or secret groups so that embarrassing threads do not show up on ones facebook feed.

Breastfeeding

One would think that as a mother, this would come naturally and intuitively, but I discovered the hard way that this is not the case. I only breastfed Noodle for about a month before my supply diminished, causing her to reject any attempts at breastfeeding. This was probably due to a combination of formula top ups in hospital and me not having the right information on how to keep my supply up.

Thanks to better education the second time round, I discovered that formula top ups and a rigid three hour feeding schedule were a sure way to diminish supply. Facebook mommy groups were a saving grace in those early days with a wealth of information on how to successfully breastfeed. Squish on the other hand is still breastfed at almost fourteen months. 

Removing Super Glue

Being our resident Doc Mcstuffins toy fixer, I have discovered that if you ever get your fingers stuck with superglue, petroleum jelly can be used to painlessly remove it. Store this information in your memory bank as it is hard to Google things with your hands glued together.

Wonder weeks

When Noodle was a baby I had not even heard of the Wonder Weeks (these are weeks when babies universally appear to make mental leaps in their development, which often coincides with fussy and cranky behaviour. With Squish, they have been remarkably accurate and quite useful in making sense of bad weeks.

Baby led weaning

This basically means letting your baby feed themselves sticks of solids from the time they start solids and skipping the mushy purees completely. Babies learn to chew first and then swallow (as opposed to with purees where they learn to swallow first and chew later).

The idea seems counter-intuitive and even scary (if you do not know the distinction between gagging and choking), but I discovered that this method of introducing solids is easier for both mother and baby (and less messy). Yes, I know I spoke about the food pouches earlier in this post, which would have BLW purists burn me at the stake, but those were only there for quick snacks on the go (or super lazy days).

By eight months old, Squish was happily eating what the rest of the family eats, with very little assistance and many hours were saved steaming, blending and freezing baby foods. 

Sleep Training

When Noodle was born back in 2010, sleep training was very popular. As desperate sleep deprived zombies, we tried sleep training for one night with Noodle when she was about eight months old. It was an epic failure. My poor baby was hoarse from crying, physically ill the next day and it did not help her sleep any better. Guilt-ridden, we refused to do it for another night and our gut instincts as parents told us that we should not be doing this. More recent research shows that crying it out methods of sleep training can cause long-term psychological damage to little ones. I am glad we stopped when we did with Noodle and that we knew better by the time Squish came along.

 

Gelatine tea

A tablespoon of gelatin is added to boiling hot tea or coffee and consumed immediately, at least once or twice a day. Some claim not to notice the taste but I think it tastes aweful and the texture is not very pleasant either.

I noticed slight results but did not persevere too long due to the taste, but I have met many mommies who swear by gelatine tea as a remedy for stretch marks and saggy skin. (Note: Gelatine is available in the baking isle at most supermarkets or for SANHA approved Halaal gelatine, look at Muslim owned spice shops).