Monday, 24 October 2016

I Have A Secret and I Can't Keep It Any Longer

So I have a little confession to make. Okay, maybe not so little. Or maybe not that big- it depends on your perspective I guess. Uhmmm, where do I start?

I have been avoiding this blog a little bit this past month, partially because I felt a little bit guilty about being potentially perceived as being disloyal to my readership. What am I on about?

I spent a lot of time on this blog advocating the work from home lifestyle (it is even embedded in my blog name and persona!) and to a large extent, that is who I was and what my blog was always all about. I loved working from home and getting to spend time with my little ones while earning a living.

Then recently, something HUGE happened. Out of the blue, I got an offer for a dream job (or what seemed like a dream job) at a time when my bank balance was looking a tad bit deflated- working from home means that there are months of earning a lot and months of earning very little and I got the call during one of them. Part of me missed the corporate world, being able to apply my mind to real challenges and getting to go to the bathroom undisturbed and I sometimes felt like I was wasting my qualifications with my part-time work at home. Coincidentally, around the same time, my mom, being the only other person in the world that I trust completely with my kids, stopped working full time and found herself with lots of time to spare. She eagerly volunteered to take up the task of looking after my little ones after school and chauffering them to extra-murals in the afternoons. It all seemed to make sense and to fit into place at that moment. So, after much deliberation, I took the plunge and went back to work full time.

Yikes, what was I thinking, I ask myself some days. Going back to work full time has been much more challenging than I anticipated! I forgot how nasty corporate politics can get and came to find out how it came to be that such a great position became vacant in the first place. I swopped little kids with little tantrums for grown up kids with grown up tantrums.  The little ones battled slightly in getting used to a new routine but have since settled down well, although it is a struggle to fit in everything we need to in just a few hours in the evenings. The hours are less flexible than anticipated and while I have a boss who will let me disappear for an important school event or sick child, not having the ability to do things when and how I want has definitely taken some getting used to.

Have I made the right decision? For now, probably. I loved every moment of WAHM'ing for the last three years but this is where life has lef me now. I am challenged and stimulated and thinking about far more complex issues than before and I have the chance to influence a much larger sphere than previously. I am gaining valuable new experience and learning new things. I am not broke. My children are still well taken care of and my mom loves getting to spend extra time with them. Is it worth it? Only time will tell and if not, it will be easy enough to go back to WAHM'ing- I have allowed enough safety nets to enable myself to do so should I so choose.

So for now, here is my big question...

Do I keep this blog as 'Jozi WAHM' or do I re-brand? Would keeping the name make me seem less legitimate? I would love your thoughts.