Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Frozen- The Gutter Version

Like many four year old girls (and boys), Noodle is slightly obsessed with the movie Frozen. She has watched the movie enough times for ME to know the lyrics to all the songs, had Frozen as the theme for her last birthday and has more than her fair share of the merchandise. 

Let's just say that we have gotten to the point where our DVD player mysteriously cannot play the Frozen movie anymore.


I am sure most are familiar with that  game where you make a chain story, with one person starting and the next continuing, with each taking turns. I introduced Noodle to this game and this is the grotesque story that she wove (with me putting in a word here and there, I tried to add the bear minimum and let her do most of the talking). Sadly, in the Noodle version, Anna and Elsa lack the etiquette and decorum befitting of princesses. Despite its grim nature, I thought the story was worth sharing.

The story (with sincerest apologies to Disney) goes as follows:
"Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, lived two beautiful princesses called Elsa and Anna. Elsa had magical powers to freeze things.

One day, both princesses needed the bathroom at the same time. The only problem was that they only had one bathroom in the whole castle.

They had a huge fight about who would go first. 

"I really need to go first"said Anna. 

"No, I do" said Elsa.

They could not decide what to do and kept fighting to go first. They tried to both go at once but they could not both fit on the toilet seat. They  They played rock, paper, scissors. That didn't work- that game is too difficult.

Then Elsa had a bright idea and used her magic powers to create a spectacular bathroom made entirely out of ice. Even the toilet was made out of ice. But nobody wanted to use it because they didn't want to get their bottoms frozen. They also did not know how it would flush because the water would just freeze.

They went to Prince Hans' house to see if one of them could use his bathroom but he didn't have one. Olaf didn't have a toilet either- he didn't even have a house. Neither did anyone else in the entire kingdom. Some people were not at home when they went so they don't know if those people had toilets.

By the time they got back home Anna could not hold it back any more. She had an accident. I guess she "let it go" and there was a big puddle on the palace floor. She started crying and felt very sad.

Elsa did not want to have an accident also so she ran to the bathroom and made a pee and a poo poo. Anna had a bath and put her clothes in the washing machine. She needed to put on other clothes. Anna put on a beautiful new sparkly purple dress with bows, diamonds, ribbons, flowers, lace and lots of pretty pictures drawn on it. Elsa put on her blue sparkly dress.
They both made their hair look pretty and went to the ball. Anna sprayed some perfume because she was still stinky. They danced, ate chocolate and had an amazing time. They lived happily ever after.
The End!"