Friday, 13 May 2016

Weird Things I Never Thought I Would Hear Myself Saying

Sometimes, parenthood feels like living in a distant parallel universe somewhere- a place where people do strange, surreal things. Sometimes, I listen to myself talking and think, "What? Did I really just need to say that?" Here are some of the odd things I found myself saying this week. I wish I could say they are made up but they are not.

jozi wahm alien

"No, we really don't need a dump truck or a tractor."

"I'm sure your aunt would love a pink truck for her birthday but why don't we get these earrings instead?"

"Take that potty off your head!"

"Why is there glitter in your poo?" (Yes, conversations about poo have become normal and it turns out that when toddlers eat cakes with glitter they get unicorn poop.)

"You need to point it down when you go to toilet!" (Sigh... boys and potty training.)

"Why are you wearing my bra? And why are your teddy bears wearing my panties?"

"We don't use our toes for eating". 

"No, we are not having snakes for supper. Nope, no worms either."

"Why do you think you need your own external hard drive?"

"Put away your schoolbooks now and go play." (I never thought I would be saying that!)

"Licorice is not made of snakes."
"Don't worry, your sister did not really pull your eye out. It is stuck in your head, I promise!"

"Don't listen to your sister. There is no ghost in the toy box."

Does anyone else live in a parallel universe? What strange things do you find yourself saying?